Glimpses of Jerry Corey’s Self-Care Program
Dr. Gerald Corey is our Inaugural Guest Blogger and my mentor. In my former life as a college professor I used Dr. Corey’s text books and videos in my courses. He wrote one of the first text books on the Theory and practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy. I call Jerry the grandfather of Counselor Education. I have had the honor of reviewing, and contributing to his text books and presenting with him at conferences. He and his wife Marianne have been supporters and teachers to me. Enjoy this first guest blog! Thanks for joining us.
Throughout my life, I faced many professional challenges, yet the demands of work inspired and energized me. It was necessary for me to balance a multiplicity of professional roles, formulate long-range and short-term goals, and learn how to create some personal life amid all the facets of my professional life. During my professional career, I found that a pathway to self-care was making time for family vacations, associating with friends and colleagues, hiking, and bicycle riding.
From my early to mid-career, the stress of trying to juggle multiple professional roles and tasks was not without a price. I rarely did one thing at a time, and multitasking had become my way of being. Eventually, I became skilled at asking for help and giving others a chance to provide assistance. Learning that I could not do it all was a significant part of taking care of myself.
I learned that I could not live in a stress-free environment and that either stress controls me or I control stress. I was typically attempting to do far too much in too short a period of time. I developed severe headaches and pain and muscular tension in my shoulders and neck as my body began telling me that I needed to slow down. I realized that stress was getting the best of me and that my headaches and pain were signs that I was not taking care of myself. Living a stressful existence had become my way of life, and I was not paying attention to what my body was telling me. I began to incorporate body work as a part of taking care of myself, a practice that I continue today. An important lesson for me was realizing that maintaining my health and wellness has much in common with maintaining a car’s performance and longevity—it is dependent on regular maintenance. By taking care of my body and learning how to reduce the effects of stress, I am doing necessary maintenance to improve my own performance.
During my early 50s I made some key decisions pertaining to balancing my work life with my personal life. I continued monitoring the number of hours I worked each week and made some changes in my work life that reduced pressure in my personal life. During much of my married life, my wife and I have made time for vacations, even short times away, but often linked our professional travels with vacations. We each value self-care and engage in our own regular program to keep physically and psychologically fit.
When we travel to another state to attend or present at a professional conference, a self-care practice we engage in is allowing several days before we work to enjoy the natural beauty and sights of that state.
During the decade of my 50s I was doing everything I wanted to do professionally. Many of my personal needs were met from my involvement with many projects, yet I came to realize that I couldn’t do everything that I loved doing. A hard lesson for me to learn was to pause before too readily accepting an invitation for another workshop, a speaking engagement, or launching a new book. Because I lived with an overcrowded schedule and accepted too many invitations, I needed to learn the value of carefully reflecting on the implications of accepting invitations, no matter how enticing they appeared to be. I recognized that everything I was doing took time and energy. I had the difficult task of learning to say “no” to some interesting projects. I frequently had to remind myself that I am one person with limited time, and I could not do everything I might have wanted to do.
Over the years I have learned how essential clarity of purpose, motivation, and self-discipline are for engaging in productive work. Realizing that I am the one who decided to commit to projects keeps me focused and energetic. At age 81, I am convinced that if I neglected my self-care practices I would not have the stamina I enjoy today, and I would not be able to continue to engage in productive work that has carried me into my later career. I attribute my health and the quality of my life largely to self-care practices. For many years, I have been committed to making the time to exercise—walking, hiking, or bicycling every day, rain or shine! I keep a record of my work activities and exercise activities. During the past few years my average work week has been about 30 hours and my average time devoted to weekly exercise has been about 18 hours. Monitoring my work and self-care activities in my schedule book is a good way for me to evaluate balance in my life.
A key part of my self-care plan is being involved in acupuncture as a preventive measure and a pathway to physical and psychological wellness. I also have physically challenged myself by incorporating Pilates into my self-care regimen, a practice I began when I was 75. My Pilates teachers challenge me physically in my weekly lessons, and they do not pay attention to my groaning or complaining when they ask me to do challenging exercises. Although Pilates and stretching exercises are not easy, I am convinced that these practices are paying off for me in the long run. Another vital aspect of self-care is incorporating fun into my daily life. I am fortunate to live in an area where concerts and music festivals are available, and I take full advantage of this, often enjoying these events with my wife and friends.
Since my early 60s I have enjoyed teaching only part time and like the freedom this brings. In addition to teaching, I have continued to give workshops and presentations at professional conferences. With my writing schedule and the teaching I do throughout each year, I am still deeply involved in meaningful work. My writing schedule now occupies a major portion of my professional time, and my colleagues and I have been involved in the revision of one or more textbooks each year, and at time making educational videos. I still greatly enjoy the various facets of my work life and do not envision total retirement in my picture. Interacting with colleagues on exciting projects is meaningful, and I continue to find joy in working with appreciative and eager students who keep me young!
Let me emphasize that I am describing some of the ways I engage in self-care, yet I am not suggesting that this should be your way. My hope is that each of you will take seriously the importance of taking care of yourself in all ways and that you create your own self-care practices.
Footnote: This article is adapted from material in Counselor Self-Care (by Gerald Corey, Michelle Muratori, Jude Austin, and Julius Austin, 2018, American Counseling Association Publication).
his story is remarkable. still so very active at the age of 81.
Kellie I see why he is your mentor.
I really do Love your Creative Wellness and newsletter.
Today I happen to be at Fairview Hospital to have placed a new dialysis catheter in my chest. the one I currently have did not work on Monday.
I am also changing my dialysis enter. I don’t like it where I am no. Dr. Shrish was happy that I wanted to change facilities. I think they are nuts over there.
THANKS FOR THE CONTIGUOUS PRAYERS. I APPRECIATE YOUR PRAYERS SO MUCH. MIRACLE’S ALWAYS HAPPEN. WITH GOD ALL ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
💖💙💕💥